So I really have been struggling with the lack of expression in my life and need an outlet so here we are. I promise to be frank and honest so this may be a complete mess or the start of something awesome... who knows.
I am almost 29 a terrifying age when you seem to have little to show for it, but not all is lost I have a pretty good life now! My point is life is always messy and no matter who you are you can never plan it. You can color coordinate your Agenda, sync your google calendar and make a million lists, but in a single instant all of those plans are thrown out the window. You may have a flat tire, your kids are sent home sick, or your sisters having a baby. Life has no pause button and no matter how much I have tried to control my life it never works. I seem to always be on a another page, in completely different book then the rest of the world. All that being said those misadventures have been some of my favorite stories so far!
A little over 4 year years ago I moved back to Colorado after leaving a very unhappy marriage with a very controlling husband. I had started a new job as an Apartment Manager in Denver and I was making more money than I had really ever... I started spending a great deal of time with a new friend Nick who I had leased an apartment to. He had an infectious personality and was the life of every party. What started as lets get a drink turned into a 3 month long downward spiral. It did not even see myself spiraling until i hit the bottom. We where drinking every night bar hopping up Colfax avenue but we where like famed celebrities. Everyone knew us and it started to become easier and easier to drink for free. We would start at the lower end of Colfax and when we where bored wed move on and a trail of people followed. We collected a crowd of followers whether it was our dancing that got the party started or that bar tenders loved us and gave out free shots, I have no clue. I did know for the first time in my life I felt free and acknowledged. This fun lasted about 3 months and four nights of sleeping in the back of my car because I was to drunk to drive home. I was burnt out and quickly realized that none of these people knew me or even necessarily liked me it was just about the never ending party and when I wanted to stop I was left in the dust. I was seamlessly replaced with the next girl and suddenly I felt more alone than ever. So I sat at a dive bar alone and drank and I was more depressed then I had been in a long time. Something had to change!
I went to work the next week and on Wednesday all the staff was called into the office and our Regional manager told us our property was being sold at the end of the month. My heart sank I loved working there and I didn't want to find another job this job had been my one anchor to not completely falling apart this last few months. I pulled my regional aside and asked her what options i had to stay with the company, she let me know she had a position in Utah and that I would receive a bonus to help me move. I suddenly felt renewed I said Ill take it! I was excited for a new adventure anywhere was better then here... it had to be. My regional did not seem as excited as I was and she simply said "before you except the job go home a research Vernal, Utah"... my mind was spinning I was like what? Where? So not that I had a lot of options I asked google to tell me about my new home. Suddenly I felt like a cow sent out to pasture... there was a Walmart... and that was about it. So i put on a brave face and packed my bags.
I drove in to the foggy mist of the morning on November 4th, 2014 and went from one side of town to the other in 15 min... I was going to need a hobby and quick! My new job was great and I did not totally hate the town. There was a lot of unique shops, small coffee places and good sense of community I just wasn't a part of yet.. I told myself trying to be optimistic.
The winter seemed like it was never going to end and the colder it got the sadder I became... at least Denver I had some family.. so I did what every 21st century lonely person does I started a dating profile!
I met a guy Logan and we went out on a date it was really the most awkward date I had ever been on lol which later on I grew to realize Logan the great guy he is, is just kind of awkward. He did become a good friend but I could never romantically date him. Soon after I started talking to this guy who was having a really hard time he had just lost this Job and was trying to back on his feet we talked for hours and I felt an almost instant connection... but the next morning he never replied and I was almost heartbroken he was the first real connection I had formed in years he was nerdy with an edge just my type!
Coming into January I was sure that I was going to die alone in a town where no none even knew I existed. Then my phone dinged and it was a message from the charming mystery guy. He had lost his phone service since he was unable to pay the bill due to the lack of job and all. We messaged all day and through the night... at midnight we were so entranced in conversation he said lets meet. I was hesitant for like an instant and then I said "where!?" During our conversation we had realized that being the tiny town we are in he lived with Logan and not wanting to have the awkward encounter he decided to meet me down the road at a local restaurant called Don Pedro's but it was too late for them to be open. So there I sat waiting for him to walk over feeling like I was about to make some kind of drug deal in dimmed lights of the parking lot. He got in and I couldn't even look at him... my cheeks hurt from the ridiculous smile painted across my face and he was so much cuter in person! We spent an awesome morning together! The rest is really history.. now 2 years later we are just 7 months from saying our "I do's" and I can not wait to be Mrs. Skyler Lamb!
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